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about

My cousin Patrick took his own life earlier this year. I looked up to him and I don’t know that he knew how much I did. I will never see him again, but he’s with me forever.

If you need help, get help. Don’t ever stop fighting.

The number for the National Suicide Helpline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255), if you need it.

lyrics

I've said goodbye this way
enough that I know what to say.
That doesn't make the news easier to take.
That doesn't mean that my heart won't still break.
That doesn't mean I don't want answers
to questions it's best not to ask
or excuse anything that took place.
It just means that I'm tired of praying for grace.

You took away a piece of me
and you made me cry.
Because I guess I looked up to you.
And I don't understand how anybody
could ever choose that way to die.
Patrick, what did you do?
What the hell went wrong with you
and where did you even get that gun?
Nobody should ever use a bullet to turn tail and run.

You don't turn your back on your family.
You don't turn on your kin.
You suck it up and show forgiveness
even for the stupidest of sins.
If you were still here,
I'd give you an ear-full
but you're dead and I must let it go.

So I'm sorry for how life hurt you.
And I never will ever desert you.
And I guess that's all I wish you would have known.

credits

from Something to Look Forward to​.​.​., released October 16, 2014

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Derek Brink St Louis, Missouri

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