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Lonely

from Happy Now? by Derek Brink

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about

This is one of the older songs on the album. I think I wrote it in 2007 or 2008. It's been sitting around that long. At one point it was slated for use on an abandoned solo album called "Pop Art Manifesto." It would've been a good fit there. That album fell apart--as things sometimes do...but this song has remained one I've wanted to share with everybody for years and years. And now it's here. (Incidentally, I think I've used 90% of the material I meant for "Pop Art Manifesto" elsewhere over time...it'd be an interesting compilation to put together a formal version of it someday...but that'd mainly only be interesting to me. So forget I mentioned it.)

I don't want to say much about this song. It's one of those lyrics that will mean something to you if it's SUPPOSED to, and whatever anyone else reads into it--INCLUDING THE AUTHOR--shouldn't change it for you. I could go line-by-line and tell you what every WORD of this song means to me...but it might hurt what it means to YOU and I don't want to do that with this one... I will go so far as to say the "God in my window" line was inspired by the fact that I slept with a Dream Catcher hanging in my window at the time of writing...but otherwise it's all up to you.

This song has an obvious (to me, anyway) Bowie influence. I hope you can hear that. If not, that's cool too...but Bowie's all over this one, in my heart.

lyrics

Streets stained with gold--
where we’ll meet again.
Be a long journey ‘till then.
I’ll remember your photograph.
Young forever we’ll be in each other’s minds.
I’ll send you a letter from where I end up.

I’ve got a strong urge to cry.
Never thought I’d need so many people in my life.
When it’s done you know what you had.
I have a strong love for looking back.
Sometimes it’s lonely.

Restless soul.
Fingers worn to the bone.
An artist turning up in his own painting or symphony.
Young forever I’ll be
in my own dreamscapes.
Pictures of old friends bent worn and fading.

I’ve got a strong thirst for rain.
Never thought I’d miss the smaller roles.
When it’s over I got what I paid for…
Hazy memories...dusty old flowers.
Sometimes it’s lonely.

Can’t run from pain.
Can’t run from pleasure.
Couldn’t run if I had to.
Limping again.

I’ve got a strong need for rest.
Images on my desktop again.
Numb from the weight on my chest.
God in my window.
Sometimes it’s lonely.

credits

from Happy Now?, released May 29, 2021

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Derek Brink St Louis, Missouri

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