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about

This song has been around the block a few times, but still means a lot to me. It's on the "Wayne County EP" but some of my favorite performances were with my band The Social Gospel back when we were still together. This version's a little more subdued than usual, but I like to tone of it.

The outro vocal was done "live" but when I was mixing it, I didn't really like it out front. I killed the main vocal mic and what you're hearing there is just one of the room mics picking me up. I liked how that sounded and it made the fact that it's a little off-key seem natural and fun. Plus, it's sort of a tribute to a musical hero of mine who passed away this year, as Leonard Cohen did the same basic gag at the end of "One of Us Cannot Be Wrong." He probably did it to better effect...but I like this, too! :)

lyrics

I've been awake for a long time.
I've been awake for years.
I've got a million dirty secrets
that I can't ever tell.
I've got a job and I'm happy.
So why am I so sad?
And why does every morning feel
like I spent the last night in Hell?

It's getting to where the alcohol won't even make a dent.
And looking back on it now, I'm not sure it ever did.
I can't make it work.
Can't slow it down.
I'm killing myself to live.

I've been drunk all Summer.
I've been drunk all day.
The only thing that makes it better
is knowing it can't get any worse.
Got some guitars and my TV
to help pass the time away.
But there's no time to count my blessings
when I'm living under this curse.

Sleep is a release, but sleep won't ever come.
It's daybreak again and I've gotta be on the run to beat the traffic.
It's all a reply of the day before.

So I take another drink when I need it.
I'd take a hit or two, but I don't really want it.
Even the nicotine doesn't quite seem to cut it.
Just gotta suck it up and get on with it.
It's just another day.

It's just another day.

And it's getting to where the alcohol
won't even make a dent.
And looking back on it now,
I'm not sure it ever did.
I can't make it work.
Can't slow it down.
I'm killing myself to live.

credits

from Sorry, I Didn't Mean to Shout (An Acoustic Retrospective), released December 25, 2016

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Derek Brink St Louis, Missouri

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