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about

"Always" was in progress when I started recording the album. I had enough of it that I knew I would put it on the album, but not enough of it that I knew quite where it was going. I bounced around between what point of view the song would be written in (first person/third person) and ultimately what message I wanted to give.

Most of the song is a down-note, lyrically. It's describing someone who's definitely struggling. It's trying to tell the listener that it's okay to feel bad. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to hurt. Then it turns it all around and says, "But you can ALWAYS come home." Struggle while you need to, but come back to where you belong. And you don't belong in the dark place.

It's basically me in a good place giving advice to myself when I'm inevitably in the bad place.

I like that the bridge sounds almost gloriously, decadently happy, but if you look at the lyrics they're "It's always never getting better. There's always something in the way." It's one of the saddest, most defeated parts of the song, but it sounds climatically happy. Then, again, there's that line... "But you can always come home." It justifies all of the happiness in the music balancing against the sadness in the lyrics. There's always good right there just waiting for the bad to stop. And that's maybe the best way I could've ended the album.

It's an album about survival, after all.

lyrics

Staring in the mirror saying,
“You deserve good.”
It doesn’t sound like the truth,
even though you know that it should.
You can’t keep breaking knuckles
knocking on wood.
You don’t understand why you feel
misunderstood.

And you act out so they’ll have no doubt
they’d be better without you around.
You say it like a fact,
but no one believes that.
You’re just projecting your reflection back.

You think that you’re seeing clearly
but you’ve got it all flipped around.
You know that they love you dearly,
but you just can’t accept that right now.
You can’t quite figure it out.

Staring out a window
and you feel like dirt.
You’re satisfied to sit inside
feeling cursed.
Counting all the scars
from the times you’ve been hurt.
Counting all the ways
that it could be worse.

And it’s lonely being lonely.
If only time healed wounds.
And you sleep in and ask all your friends
to forgive you for just being you.

You think that you’re seeing clearly
but you’ve got it all flipped around.
You know that they love you dearly,
but you just can’t accept that right now.
You can’t quite figure it out.

It’s always never getting better.
There’s always something in the way.
There’s always time for better weather
but today you’ll take the rainy day.
It’s always in your hands
to reach out to someone who understands.
But if you need some time
to sit in the quicksand,
then just take the time
and then you’ll find
you can always come home.

You think that you’re seeing clearly
but you’ve got it all flipped around.
You know that they love you dearly,
but you just can’t accept that right now.
You can’t quite figure it out.

But you can always come home.

credits

from It Could Be Worse, released May 18, 2018

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Derek Brink St Louis, Missouri

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