* (Asterisk)

by Derek Brink

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about

This album took ten years. Maybe longer. For 9.999 of those years, the title was going to be "Songs for Kurt," until someone who didn't believe in the project told me that not only was the project itself a bad idea, the title would make people think I was referring to Kurt Cobain. They were undebatably at least half right. So I titled it with simple punctuation. If you want to say the album title out loud, I guess it’s just called “Asterisk.” But Vonnegut purists will know that a better title would be “a picture of an asshole.” That’s what the asterisk represents in Vonnegut lore.

When I was a teenager, I got a copy of “Cat’s Cradle” as a gift because I’d heard it was good. I read it and fell in love. It wasn’t until a decade or so later that I finally read “Slaughterhouse-Five.” Most people probably do that in the opposite order. So what?

In my early to mid 20s I made it a point to read all of Vonnegut’s work. I completed that, and as a songwriter some lyrics came out of it. I started stashing them away, thinking I’d do an album of lessons learned from reading Vonnegut at the end of whatever year that was. I started working on it and soon decided it was too big a task. I wasn’t ready for it as a writer or player. Some of those early songs found their ways into other things. Some didn’t. Some of those are here now. One of the songs here is an excerpt of a song I released on the “Sorry, I Didn’t Mean to Shout” release in 2017. (You should go download that too, if you haven’t.) I started reading Vonnegut again last year. I’m a better, quicker, smarter songwriter now (it happens) and lyrics came much easier. So did melodies. And here we are.

This album is about forgiveness in the midst of despair. It’s the most human thing you can do and the best thing Vonnegut taught me. The album still works if you don’t know Vonnegut’s stuff. But you should read it anyway.

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released November 11, 2018

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Derek Brink St Louis, Missouri

Derek Brink is a musician from St. Louis, MO. He offers all of his music for the low cost of absolutely FREE. No one owns the space over your head, and Derek doesn't think you should pay him to fill it. For those who are generous, you may pay any amount you wish with Derek's thanks--but you are not obligated to do so. Thanks, and come back for more, any time! ... more

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Track Name: The Last Folk Singers -- Excerpt
I thought that I
saw Kurt Vonnegut
singing in the church.
He was singing about
life being beautiful
and how none of it ever hurt.
He said this about that
and that about this
and the whole thing
came with an asterisk.
You’d have to be a robot
to be a Humanist.
So it goes and so it is.
Track Name: TralfamadOverture
(Instrumental)
Track Name: The War
Springtime was
somewhere in there.
The smell of death in the air.
The birds all sang with despair
as the teapot expired...
as the last shot was fired...

When it was all over
we were nothing but older.
Someday we'll finally
grow closer
if the accident wills...
if our coffins aren't filled...

No will to fight the good fight.
Every moment
the end is in sight.
What are the poor people
doing tonight?
Is revenge all we know?
So it is. So it goes.

Isn't that how the war began--
turning man into “superman?”
Sacrificed to the master plan.
Isn't that how we died?
Wasn't God on our side?
Track Name: You've Got to Laugh
You’ve got to laugh.
You’ve got to laugh.
Laughter is no worse than tears.

Look what a mess we’ve made.
Can’t think at all these days.
If this is how exhaustion pays
it’s a wonder
we get things done.
All the best jokes are true.
And the truth is
the joke’s on you.
There’s nothing you can do,
so you might as well have fun.
(You’re not the only one.)

Chorus

We’re all so far apart.
But look at how close we are.
It shouldn’t be this hard
to just be civilized.
With a little less suffering
we could live like
Gods and kings.
If history proves anything
then we just might be surprised.
(But until such time…)

Chorus

When I am with you,
there’s no doubt
that we’re perfect.
No need for anyone else.
Each time I miss you,
I know it’s not worth it
to try it myself.
I cannot see you,
but I can feel you.
I begin where you end.
Wherever you’ve gone to,
part of me goes too
and I always have been.
If more people had this,
maybe we could cure sadness.
What would be left to weep for?
Can you imagine the gladness?
To be rid of the madness?
To be lonesome no more?

Chorus
Track Name: Malfunction (or "Broken All Along!")
We’re colder to each other
than we’ve ever been.
The machines are winning
and we’ll let them win.
If we ever switch them off,
we’ll switch them on again.
And we’ll find a way to be happy
or not in the end.

Plug me in and turn me on.
I’m getting something,
but I think the wiring’s wrong.
Next thing you know
the signal’s gone, gone, gone.
It might have been
broken all along.
(Maybe it’s a malfunction.)

Isolation is easy.
It’s revolution that’s hard.
Stand up and be counted
whoever you are.
It doesn’t really matter
what you’re fighting for.
It’s up to you to choose
the master you adore.

Chorus

An automaton myself
I can’t prevent
my fall from grace.
Guilty of crimes against myself,
much less the human race.
To crack the code,
I’d have to know
what I said in the first place.
In the universal chess match
even my castle isn’t safe.
What a disgrace!

Chorus
Track Name: Now It's the Woman's Turn
Men…we’ve got to face it.
We’ve been given our due shot.
But we made war
and then we made war some more
and we messed everything up.

We did our best
We pounded our chests.
We enslaved each other,
and we enslaved our brides.
We’re slaves to our own egos
and we’ve got nowhere
left to hide.

We can deny it,
we can try to fight it,
we can act like our rights
are on the line.
But it’s over, it’s done,
it’s finished.
It’s no secret.
We’ve had our time.

A monkey into a monkey house.
All we do is rape and feed.
And we act like we’re doing a favor for anyone we make bleed.
But now, it’s the woman’s turn
to lead.

I’m never going to be a woman.
So I know I’ll never
really understand.
But when I look at the news
and I hear a friend say
it happened to her too…
There’ve been a lot of times
I wished I wasn’t a man.

Now I’m not throwing stones.
I look in the mirror and know
I’ve got fingers pointing
back at me.
But I’m tired of the privilege.
I’m ready to give it up.
No one should’ve given it to me.

Men…
We’re terrible and we know it.
Some of us even celebrate it.
And we’re wrong.
But change starts with you
and it starts with #MeToo.
So I’m asking you to sing along.

Now it’s the woman’s turn
to lead.
Track Name: The Way the World Will End
This is the way
that the world will end.
Humans on display
in front of school kids.
Somewhere back in time,
it’s all starting again.
You might feel it coming,
but you can’t change
what you did.
This is the way
that the world will end.

Is this all that has become of us?
Dresden to ashes.
New York to dust.
Hero or the villain:
Become what you must.
And God will come to join you.
God will come destroy you.

This is the way
that the world will end.
Lunatics disguised as Christians
while the Prophet Jeremiah
weeps his eyes out again.
Smoke ‘em while you’ve got ‘em and share some with a friend.
This is the way
that the world will end.

Is this all that we’ve evolved for?
If we can’t live forever,
why fight it anymore?
Step into the blue light and
set sail for different shores.
And all your ghosts
will follow you.
Or the loneliness
will swallow you.

This is the way
that the world will end…
Track Name: If It's Raining
Doesn’t matter if it’s raining.
Doesn’t matter if it’s raining.
Doesn’t matter if it’s raining.
We can make it rain.

Don’t let your brother
get you down.
You both do what you’re able.
Don’t let your father
scare you now.
There’s no damn cat or cradle.

Chorus

Don’t let your heroes
get you down.
Their lies are only human.
Don’t let your mother
hurt you now.
It’s cold. Best to keep moving.

Chorus

Busy, busy, busy—-very busy…
Destroying the whole world.
Busy, busy…
Don’t let me slow you down.
Building pressure--
building, building
building all the time.
So much pressure, pressure,
we could almost drown.

It doesn’t matter
if it’s raining.
Track Name: Eloit's Benediction
The insanity of generosity
is never far from my mind.
With an excess of bread
why not build a table instead
of a fence to hide it behind?
I suffer from love
and God knows above,
that’s a terrible way to die.
But when I look in the face
of the whole human race,
it’s so wounded that I could cry.

Through all of the anger,
all the despair,
all of the killing and greed…
In the arms of the destitute, you’ll find me there,
embracing every misdeed.
With a drink
and a prayer to be free.

Imagine the world’s
greatest author,
but a man of no fortune or fame.
He writes down a word
for the love of the word.
Unwritten, it causes him pain.
Every book knows it’s a book
and some of them know
their own names.
If you’re ever in doubt,
swim upstream like a Trout,
if only for love of the game.

Through all of the laughter,
all of the fun,
all of the science-fiction…
With a light in the tunnel
and a hand on the gun,
let this be my benediction.

Through all of the damage done, all of the guilt,
every mistake that was mine…
For all of the accolades,
my epaulets,
there’s one thing
I leave behind.

It burdens me deeply,
I want you to know.
For as long as the sun,
it may shine…
There’s one truth that’s left, babies, one I can find…

God damn it,
you’ve got to be kind.
Track Name: Here We Go Again
I feel like an actor
only acting to react.
Powerless to change it
but knowing what comes next.
To begin at the beginning
is too far to walk things back.
I was sick so long,
now there’s work to do
forever I expect.

What’s done is done
until you do it all again.
Lay your burdens down.
You may as well be original
if you’re going to sin.

I feel like a writer
with a deadline overhead.
Out of ink, or so I think.
Or maybe the printer’s dead.
A copy of a copy
of another treatment read.
I’ve been gone so long
that it all feels wrong
and I want to go to bed.

So take your time
and be careful of what you
pretend to be.
What’s gone is gone.
Just having the will
doesn’t make the will free.

We are here to celebrate
all that’s been left up to fate.
Thank God it’s not too late.
It would be a shame
to go it alone.
We’re here to
help each other out.
To turn a whisper to a shout.
Who knows what life is all about.
We’re all just
thumbing our way home.

You can’t change the past.
When it becomes the present, you’ve just got to forgive.
So speak these words:
“If this isn’t nice,
then I don’t know what is.”
Track Name: Greetings From Far Away
I don’t know how I got here,
but I know where to go.
And I think I know everything
that I need to know.
If you’re looking for answers,
I have none and I’ll tell you so.
I’ve just been going
along with the flow.

I know how this must look.
I know how I must sound.
I swear that I’m not crazy.
I’ve just been around.
I’ve seen a lot of worry
and unhappiness abound.
I wish everybody could have
the complacency I’ve found.

Greetings from far away.
You’re lucky to be here today.
You don’t have long to stay.
Everything ends, come what may.
All around you is chaos.
Look around at what you’ve lost.
Only you can carry your cross.
Only you know the cost.

No need to act so deliriously.
I meant nothing mysteriously.
If it all goes wrong,
don’t go blaming me.
When the real problem is
you took me to seriously.

Chorus

Where has this freedom
been all of my life?
It feels like this moment
should be paradise.
But I just want
to be young again.
Why should that make me cry?
Shouldn’t I just be happy
to be alive?
Track Name: Fight for Peace
Beloved, I forgive you.
You know not what you’ve done.
I know that you mean well
and this is all in fun.
You’ll show me nothing new
under the sun.
So I hope you’ll forgive me too,
if it seems I’ve already won.

For all you’ve learned
and all you gave.
For all your hope
beyond the grave.
For every pious word you say
I can’t take any more.
What are you so afraid of?
It’s all a labor of love--
forgiving everything…
forgetting everything…
and doing good.

One thought I would give you
that would serve you well.
The Beatitudes are Jesus.
The Ten Commandments are Hell.
As long as there’s a lower class
or a prisoner in a cell,
there we see our brothers
and there we see ourselves.

For all that’s standing
in our way.
For every price we’ve yet to pay.
For every word betrayed,
just lay down your--
lay down your arms.
And follow someone beautiful.
Imagine something wonderful.
And only fight for peace.
Only fight for peace…
Track Name: We All Just Got Here
I like my dog
and he likes me.
We talk a while
and it's plain to see
that he's human.
I like my songs.
They speak for me.
They show me God.
They're all I need
for my amusement.

One thing you can always believe
is that we all just got here.
Since the Garden of Adam and Eve
we all just got here.
And we're not here long enough
to sort it all out.
Don't let 'em say any different:
We're just here to fart about.

I like jazz and cigarettes.
I'm sad sometimes
when I forget to forget
the unimportant things.
I like things that give me hope,
that show up as a trope,
make fun of the joke
and leave on angel's wings.

In the amber of the moment
there is no “why.”
All that really matters
is that you're alive.
And life will try to kill you.
So get ready for the fight.

The little things
aren't the little things.
And everything is just nothing with a little twist.
Do something. Make something.
Be anything.
Just show the world
that you exist.

Chorus

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